Key Persona 1 - Gen Z
Prompt: I really, really don’t want to be at work today!
“To be clear this is not an admonishment for asking for assistance. This is directly related to asking for assistance without attempting the task independently and/or offering potential solutions. Jess should provide options, or start the task independently and then ask for assistance instead of wanting to hop on it together or wait for me to instruct her to provide a draft or a proposed response to review. “
I seriously cannot do this today. It’s July 15. Basically, there are five and a half months left in the year. Minus the remaining holidays like Labor Day and Thanksgiving and Christmas and whatever, that’s pretty much five months. I still have 38 sick hours, so that’s, like, almost a full day per month. To be quite honest, I’m looking for new work. I’m starting to look next week when I’m back from the retreat. I absolutely hate it here, and I can totally find something better. I’m way too good for this place. Do I really need to be so stingy with my sick time? I can be out of here in 3 months, max. They’ll fall apart without me. But that won't be my problem. You know, they probably need a taste of how they’d crumble without me. That’s another major reason to bail today. Everyone is so sus they’ll probably just make their ineptitude my fucking fault.
I’m sure I’ll be judged, but whatever. I’m doing it. I’m out. There are way more productive things I could be doing today.
But first, tea.
Key Persona 2 - Millennial
Prompt: I’m sorry sir, but you can’t bring that in here.
Did you really just offer her a meeting room to breastfeed her baby? This is infuriating.
We have a room for the weekend. Her husband is waiting with the car to take the baby, she just wants to feed her right now.
Fine. Yes, I see where the policy says that the reservation is for a maximum of two people. I don’t care. We’re not trying to sneak the baby for a free stay. A baby, by the way. This is insane.
Babies aren’t allowed in your rooms? There’s no way that can be your policy. Plus, there would be a baby in the room for 10 minutes. Maybe 15. She wants to breastfeed her baby, and she likes to do it privately. You’re sending her to a meeting room…with wall-to-wall windows! Is this really happening?
If my business treated clients this way, do you know how many clients we would have?? Probably not very many! I’d be eviscerated. And probably ousted. Who else can we speak to before we simply leave and make sure it’s known why we won’t be back?
Key Persona 2 - Influencer
Prompt: Aren’t you going to answer your phone? It’s already rung ten times.
Ok. This a slay. This is a fucking slay. This is what we are wearing today. This is the fit for a corn dog celebration.
No, can you grab it? They’re probably calling to make sure I’ll be on time. Of course I will. I mean, I love corn dogs, and it's entirely amazing that they’re naming one after me. That is clout, babes.
Of course, the trolls will come for me, calling me fat or chunky or unhealthy or whatever. Yeah, I’m chunky. I’m also fabulous. And I have a follower count of 1.3 mil. So when they present me with the Ginny Big N Tasty or the Ginny No. 3 Cheesey Pleasey – I don’t know. Did they tell us what it’s going to be called? Can you ask? Whatever it’s called, it's going to be gorgeous. And when they present it, I’m going to love every second of it.
I’m actually so down for a corn dog today, so.
Let’s do this.